This short piece, originally titled, “How to Teach Your Children to Write Thank-You-Notes”, addresses the problems people often face when it´s time to give thanks; and, outlines some very simple solutions.

Thank-you-notes are a chore if you don’t know how to write them. Feeling obligated to sit down and thank Aunt Jane for the embroidered name plaque that you don’t like, and have nowhere to hang, is an awkward experience for any new bride and groom. The problem isn’t with you, but it may be with how you have experienced the gratitude of others, and with your definition of ‘grateful’.

First, parents often forget to treat their children in the way they themselves would like to be treated. This is a critical mistake. If you want to raise grateful children, be grateful for them. When your toddler makes a mess of the floor while trying to clean the kitchen table, thank her for her help! Then, let her help you clean the floor. Do not simply point out her mistake. Her intention was to help, not to make a mess. Always look to the intention when searching for reasons to thank and praise.

Once your children are old enough to read, make a habit of writing thank-you-notes to them. …

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