This article describes the role of a life coach and how parents can embrace this new job title! Professional coaches, industry experts and parents were interviewed for this piece, which includes many wonderful tips on how to successfully “coach” your child to achieve a happy life!

On bad days I think of myself as a maid, cook, groundskeeper, and chauffer. On good days I morph into teacher, mentor, spiritual advisor. A new title has crossed my path recently that not only fits, but puffs my ego a bit. I am truly my child’s life coach. Are you ready to think of yourself in this new light, complete with the kudos and commitments? The Institute for Life Coach Training, describes life coaching in this way, “life coaches help their clients design the life they want, bring out their clients’ own brilliance and resources so that they can achieve excellence and create purposeful, extraordinary lives.” Forget the housework, driving around and throwing together meals, at the end of the day, a life coach is what we do as Moms. I must admit, I appreciate the promotion.

Let’s look more closely at the field of life coaching, to truly appreciate how this defines our role as mom. Life coaching focuses on the client (ie. your kids) achieving their chosen goals. The role of the coach is not to be the ultimate decision maker (sorry, parents) but the facilitator, delivering clarity, support, accountability, focus, inspiration, challenge, lightness and direction. According to Daniel Martinage, Executive Director of the International Coach Federation, “no matter how good of a coach you choose, the results are a matter of the client’s intentions, choices and actions.” Useful words to keep in mind when your teenager decides to sport a nose ring.

Dr. Erika Lund, a life coach based in Chicago, believes the role of parent is quite similar to that of life coach. “The responsibilities of both a parent and a life coach are to guide, facilitate, advocate for, challenge and support the personal development and growth of the child,” says Dr. Lund. “Both parent and life coach ask questions, listen, suggest possibilities, all to assist in helping the child or coachee gain perspective on values, focus on strategies, be accountable, and gather momentum for action steps necessary to achieve goals.”

The most glaring difference between the roles, as noted by Dr. Lund, lies in the inherent nature of the relationship. After all, parents are not hired by their children, and the typical parental relationship is not one of equals. Dr. Lund views the parent/child relationship as “hierarchical, rather than a fully team-based, relationship.” According to Dr. Lund, “this means that, realistically, a parent cannot be completely non-judgmental towards the child, nor impartial to the extent that they are willing to risk the relationship - as is the case with a life coach. On the contrary, the parent must have some degree of subjective agenda to ensure the safety and well being of the child.”

Of course another difference, especially important to us who have bills to pay, is the “slight” difference in pay. According to the International Coaching Federation, the average life coach earns about $100 - $150 per hour. Corporate coaches earn even more, averaging $200 - $400 per hour. This compares to, well, the warm glow of satisfaction we all get when our children decide to behave in public. I don´t know about you, but when my sons get their first big job, I´m sending them a bill!

To make matters a bit worse, professional life coaches typically specialize in one or more areas. There are various divisions, such as business coaches, career coaches, personal coaches, etc., but as a parent you get to tackle all these areas over time. One aspect of the job we do share is that you currently do not need any qualifications or training to become a life coach. Sound a bit like parenting?

So now that you’ve embraced this new concept for yourself, and even toyed with the idea of business cards, let’s make sure we’re on the right track. After all, there are good life coaches, and well, those that phone it in. One of the keys to successful coaching is the concept of ongoing communication. It seems the same can be said for parenting, whether your child is four or forty. Mr. Martinage continues, “In coaching, the client chooses the focus of conversation, while the coach listens and contributes observations and questions.” This is a great parenting technique to use, especially when the communication lines become strained. “The best coaches are those that can help you see your strengths and weaknesses, in an honest manner,” he explains.

So as we strive to be the best parents possible, we can gain insight by looking through the eyes of a successful life coach. Dr. Lund, our life coach in Chicago, advises parents to simply listen to their children, and allow their children to discover answers on their own. “There´s nothing more precious and life-giving than being listened to - fully and deeply. Competent life coaches are trained to do this well. Parents often have difficulty with this simple, but not easy, skill,” according to Dr. Lund. In a final bit of thought-provoking advice, Dr. Lund admonishes, “even though parents are charged with ´knowing best´, they must also listen deeply to draw out their child´s own internal wisdom.”

With this advice in mind, are we always the best coach to our kids? Bill Dueease, President of The Coach Connection, a placement service for life coaches and clients, defines a few ways for you to know you have found your ideal coach. “You feel a strong mutual trust with your coach. You feel very strong mutual care and respect. You feel the power of the full attention and energies from your coach.” As a parent we can’t give 100% to each kid all the time, but we can give 100% to each kid for at least some of the time, every day. Mr. Dueease also stresses, “you need to feel the confidence and experience of your coach to guide you to your goals.” So share your experiences with your child. This means your successes as well as your mistakes, as it is age appropriate to do so. (…)

Article Source